Being a Mom: The Ups and Downs and Everything in Between

I write this through tears, because it’s just one of those days. One of those days as a mother when the feelings of blessings and the feelings of exhaustion & frustration seem to collide, like when a bowling ball actually hits those darn pins and sends some of them flying.

Our private tea party for her 2nd birthday.

Motherhood is a lot harder than I expected it to be, when my daughter was born 6 ½ years ago, but it was slightly different when I started. When I started, there were two parents. But the fact is, 5 ½ of those years, I’ve been on my own, and not entirely by choice. That, though, is another story for another time.

at 2-ish years old

My daughter is the single most greatest blessing I’ve ever had, and she’s also probably my greatest challenge. It’s hard being a mom, especially when you’re doing it all on your own.

YOU make the meals.

YOU make sure they’re bathed and have clean clothes.

YOU facilitate homework. {a battle at my house}

YOU are their transportation.

YOU are the boo-boo fixer.

YOU are the appointment maker and keeper.

You almost NEVER get uninterrupted bathroom time.

You almost NEVER get a day off.

You almost NEVER get to bed at a reasonable time.

You almost NEVER get to sleep in.

You almost NEVER get a night out.

…among other things.

2-ish years old

It’s not been easy. My daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and we’re looking into Sensory Processing Disorder. These are things we have dealt with for about 3 years now, but we’ve only started treatment about 4 months ago. These conditions just add to my list of to-dos and schedules and challenges.

But I’ve learned a few things. It took awhile, I’ll admit, but I’m glad it didn’t take any longer than it did to learn them.

I am her biggest cheerleader.
I get twice the hugs and kisses.
I am the one she goes to for comfort.
I am the one who gets to teach her about life.
I am the one who gets to see her in her awesome moments.
I am the one who is filling up my computer, Facebook, and Instagram full of photographic memories of her.
I am the one who gets to hold her when she wants to cuddle.
I am the one who gets to have fun with her.

At 6 years old

Honestly, if I had to do it all over again… If I could go back and decide NOT to marry her dad, knowing how it would end, or decide NOT to go off birth control so that I wouldn’t get divorced and have a child of divorce…

I wouldn’t.

There’s nothing in this world that I wouldn’t give up for her. Nothing this world has to offer is better than my life with her. I treasure that girl.

Some days, I have a hard time believing that God would trust me enough with her. I didn’t know how to be a mom, and I definitely didn’t know how to be a Christian mom, especially to a little girl who is so much smarter than you’d ever guess. {Her insights and questions blow me away sometimes.} But here I am. As her mom. Her “SuperMom“, as she sometimes calls me.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Moms, you have a tough job. It’s a physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining job. Sometimes you feel like it’s not enough, like you’re not enough. You didn’t get all of your to-dos for the day marked off, or you don’t feel like you spent enough time with your kids today. We all have those days. It’s okay. You just have to roll with it. If you have young kids, they won’t be young forever. Embrace this season of life as a blessing, in all its ups and downs, because you don’t get a do-over. Hug on them, kiss them, love on them, play with them. Make the most of…

Every. Single. Moment.